Saturday, May 23, 2009

An inside view to an Army spouses feelings during deployment

I got this from a friend of mine a few weeks ago from an Army wife "sista", it's written by Jennifer Chaloux, whom I don't know- but our hearts are the same.
I hope that this helps my friends understand me a little better..

Trying not to cry too hard so you don't make them feel bad...laying your head on their chest trying to memorize the sound of his heartbeat, the way he holds you, kisses you on the head, his laughter, and his cologne.

Holding their hand and not wanting to let go, not even for a second.

A million kisses and hugs.

Saying I love you 50 times a day, and still questioning whether you have said it enough.

Doing laundry and realizing there are none of his clothes to do and wishing there was.

Setting the table for 2 even if there is only1.

Sleeping on the couch for weeks because you can’t bear to sleep in your bed when he is on a cot.

Feeling guilty for enjoying a sunny day, a good movie, or just a ride in the car.

Avoiding phone calls because you just can’t talk about it , again, I’m fine is never enough, but you can’t make them understand no matter how hard you try.

Alienating yourself so you don’t have to fake a smile, or conversation.

Wanting to just scream and yell until you have no voice left and wiping away those endless tears.
Snapping out of it will take a year.

Wondering if he will be the same person he was when he left, and feel comfortable in his own home when he gets back.

Feeling selfish for having a pity party when he has it a lot worse.

Watching the news when you are told not to.

Knowing when we talk he will never tell me he had to dive under something to avoid getting hurt, day after day.

Not knowing who you are at the end of the day, because you can’t be who you were without him.
The word “why” is the first word in everything you think about.

No matter how hard you try, you always thinking the worst case scenario.

Wanting to sleep the whole next year because it’s the only time you get a break from stress.

Wearing his clothes while he is gone, and using a shirt with his cologne as a pillowcase to snuggle up too.

Trying to pray double time but feeling like a hypocrite, because right now I would be angry with God if something happens.

Walking around with a lump in your throat and a pit in your stomach for the next year.

Saying thank you he's fine because if you say too much you'll just cry, like you have done for the past 4 days.

Truly feeling lost, scared, and powerless.

Just going through the motions of getting up, getting ready and going through your day clutching your phone in case he calls, trying to fake being in a good mood so they think you are okay.

Getting that “look” when someone sees your military ID at the check out, and waiting for the questions I don’t want to answer.

Feeling jealous of other couples holding hands.

Avoiding your favorite cd’s or tv shows that we enjoyed together because you have no ones hand to hold or arms to lay in.

Tired of hearing “don’t think that way,” how can you not?

Realizing you have no one that truly understands, and finding friendship in other army wives that do.

Doing the same paperwork six times over, knowing you’ll have to do it again.

Having that conversation no one wants to have about injuries, death, and their wishes if it happens.

Watching other families before they deployed, men holding their newborn babies; knowing they will miss their first giggle, word, and wonder if they will know him when he gets home.

Seeing children that are too young to understand where their mom or dad are.

Families taking pictures of everything, no matter how trivial.

Seeing mothers treating their 40 year old as if he were a kid again, and she always will.

Trying to memorize every one's face and last name, because when he calls he never uses their first name when he talks about them.

Not being able to be there when they are promoted to show them and tell them how proud of them you are.

Wanting people to understand 90% of the soldiers don’t want to be there either. They want peace like all of us do.

Wanting to tell all the people at a anti-war rally that they are there because they are free, and have those rights because they live in a country protected by the military.

When the worst happens they will want the soldiers to protect them.

That every family, and person who lost their life to the 9/11 attacks are being disrespected if we didn’t fight back.

Don’t hate the war and the soldiers, hate the people who started the war.

Understanding the TRUE meaning of honor, pride, dedication, and hero. They are drivers in a convoy, infantry, mechanics, medics, Dr.’s and nurses, Chaplin's. Most of all they are our husbands, wives, sons and daughters, brothers and sisters. They have a job to do, and a family to take care of.

That family not only consists of a spouse and kids, but your family as well.

Wow- this really says a lot. If I could add one it would be:
Feeling utterly, completely alone in a room full of people

Memorial Day Weekend- in the rain

We'll, I've made it to Memorial Day- one more week 'til Rick comes home on leave before heading to the suck. So happy that he's coming home for a couple of days, and then we're heading to MS for a few more days together, but... hmmm, can't quite put my finger on it.
A friend shared a quote with me yesterday that seems to linger-

"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, its about Learning to dance in the rain!"

How true, because life is about one storm or another to us all. Learning to enjoy the simple things, appreciating what we have, realizing what is really important after all.

Maybe today, and tomorrow- if I can't dance in the rain, I'll tap my foot.

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Troop Sendoff

Here are a few pics from last Mondays Troop Sendoff. The soldiers and fam had breakfast together and the city of Griffin did a short program; then they stopped by Crescent Elementary School for a sweet program. They had a parade through town- in terrible weather.
Bye babe- I love you!!

Friday, April 10, 2009

Emotional Day for All~

The following article was from

GRIFFIN, GA -- We have seen it so many times: the emotional goodbye's when America's soldiers head to war. The story never gets old and it never get's routine.

There is one difference for a National Guard unit in Griffin. The 2nd Battalion of the 121st Infantry Regiment of the Georgia National Guard is not headed to Iraq, they are headed to Afghanistan.

They had one last family gathering as a unit at the Carver Road Baptist Church on Thursday. One day after Easter these soldiers will leave their families and they will head to Afghanistan, the new focus of our military overseas.

"I'm getting a little more nervous as the time gets closer, but I think I'm dealing with it a lot better than I thought I would," said Melissa Hutchins. This is the first mission for her husband, Specialist Jeremiah Hutchins. "Yeah, it's starting to hit me now," he said "I volunteered for this deployment but now its starting to hit home that its getting closer to time to leave."

Their community and the Carver Road Baptist Church organized this family day for the soldiers and their families to spend quality time together. They picnicked, hunted for Easter eggs and held a prayer service in the church.

The unit's last mission was in Iraq in 2005. This same Griffin community remembers it well. The most indelible memory is the memory of the loss of Griffin Postal carrier and National Guard Sergeant Bobby Hollar.

It was a tough lesson for students at Crescent Elementary School who were corresponding with Sgt. Hollar until he was killed in September 2005.

The students planted a tree outside their school in his honor, and convinced Congress with a letter writing campaign to rename the Griffin Post Office in Sgt. Hollar's name.

Katie Cobb was a teacher at the school and was also part of putting the family day together at Carver Road Baptist. "The legacy he left behind has motivated me to help these guys and help their families and just let them know that their community supports them and without them we could not be where we are today," she said.

Their new mission is to train and mentor the Afghan National Police and Army so that they can take back their country. First Lieutenant Wesley Eminger said "A lot of the unit has been deployed before but it's a big transition for everybody coming and going, having to be gone for so long."

"We're all ready to go and we're all ready to come back home," Lt. Eminger said. At the prayer service they prayed that this time, it will be all of them coming home.

The 2nd Battalion of the 121st Infantry Regiment is expected to spend one year in Afghanistan before coming home.

Monday, March 9, 2009

A litttle bit of snow never hurts...........

Sunday, March 1st-

Beautiful, magical snow!! Who would've thought it?

It didn't hurt that Ricky was home from training on a 4 day pass!! What fun!!

Newspaper entry March 4th

National Guard deployment discussed

Posted: Wednesday, March 4, 2009 1:15 AM EST

Tuesday morning, 1st Sgt. Ricky Todd briefed the Griffin-Spalding Chamber of Commerce’s Military Affairs Committee about the coming deployment of the Griffin-based Headquarters and Headquarters Company of the 2nd Battalion of the 121st Infantry Regiment of the Georgia National Guard to Afghanistan.

Todd said the unit will be mobilized on April 10. Due to Easter being that weekend, the battalion commander has received permission for the unit to leave the following Monday, April 13, for Camp Shelby in Mississippi. Advance units will leave Griffin earlier and take the military vehicles with them. The remainder will leave on charter buses on the morning of the 13th.

The company will be at Camp Shelby until the first week of June. It is possible the soldiers will receive a four-day pass after that in order to spend time with their families prior to deployment to Afghanistan. If that happens, the unit is looking for ways to organize transportation home.
Lt. Col. Allan Imes asked when they would be returning. Todd estimated they should return from Afghanistan in March 2010, since the regulations governing deployment put a limit of one year on their mobilization and the unit would need time to fully demobilize.

The committee discussed just how to provide the soldiers a send-off. Due to the possibility the guardsmen would not receive a four-day pass, they decided the community should turn out to see the company off when it leaves for Camp Shelby on April 13.

Jim King said the unit should leave around 9 a.m. to ensure arrival at Camp Shelby between 6 p.m. and 7 p.m. If the guardsmen were to leave around 4 p.m., they would not arrive at Camp Shelby until well after midnight.
After discussing different options on the send-off, the committee ultimately decided to have a ceremony the morning of April 13 at the National Guard Armory on South Hill Street prior to the unit’s departure. The Family Readiness Group and Carver Road Baptist Church will hold another ceremony before that.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Miss Ya'all

a note from my husband, to me & the girls:

On a cold wet morning here, I'm thinking about my girls. I sure hope y'all had a great Valentines Day. It occurs to me that as we begin another long year apart, that I too often take our relationships for granted. It's very comforting to know that y'all are close enough to support each other and support what I'm doing as well. We're all in this together and I'm very proud of y'all.
Lu Y'all"

we miss you too-


Just a blip on the radar- that's what I'm told about these deployments. And, so it is- another blip on the radar. I suppose it's true, in the big scheme of things. Over the next few weeks, we'll be preparing for Afghanistan. He's already gone, really. Training began in early February- so, our "life", as we know it, will be lived in days and moments over the next 3 months. How? I'm not very sure yet- we take things just one day at a time.
As for me, I'm trying to decide how to spend the next year- without losing it. I really should start working on the Specialist degree- but I'm not sure if I can concentrate enough for school right now.
I'm checking into it~~